Amazing Advertisements
Some things are better left unexamined
- Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
- Snow blower for sale... only used on snowy days.
- Free puppies... part german shepherd, part dog.
- Two wire mesh butchering gloves, one five-finger, one three-finger, pair: $15.
- Tickle me Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 mustang, 5l, auto excellent condition $6800.
- Tickle me Elmo. New in box. Hardly tickled. $700.
- Two Tinkle me Elmo dolls -- best offer.
- Black face cows, calves. Also one gay bull for sale.
- '83 toyota hunchback -- $2000.
- Do something special for your valentine -- have your septic tank pumped.
- Free puppies: 1/2 cocker spaniel -- 1/2 sneaky neighbor dog .
- Free yorkshire terrier. Eight years old. Unpleasant little dog.
- Soft & genital bath tissues or facial tissue -- 89 cents.
- German shephard. 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
- Free one can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 br 2 bth home.
- Charmin ultra bathroom tissue -- boneless.
- Nordic track $300 -- hardly used -- call Chubbie at:
- Bill's septic cleaning -- "We haul American made products."
- Shakespeare's pizza -- free chopsticks.
- Found: dirty white dog, looks like a rat. Been out awhile... better be a reward.
- Hummel's -- Largest Selection Ever -- "If it's in stock, we have it!"
- Get a little john -- the traveling urinal -- holds 2 1/2 bottles of beer.
- President's Choice cow manure -- two 33lb bags -- $5
- Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club.
- Georgia peaches -- California grown -- 89 cents lb.
- Cute kitten for sale, two cents or best offer.
- Nice parachute, never opened. Used once -- slightly stained.
- Border collie female to a good hoe. Good with children.
- Whirlpool built in oven -- frost free!
- Barbie country ride -- (note: most dolls cannot pedal the bike).
- '93 Pontiac lemons -- low miles.
- Free: farm kittens. Ready to eat.
- Frozen soft & gentle bath tissue -- four rolls, 99 cents.
- American flag, 60 stars. Pole included, $100.
- Kittens, eight weeks old -- seeking good Christian home.
- Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour.
- Notice: to person or persons who took the large pumpkin on Highway 87 near Southridge Storage. Please return the pumpkin and be checked. Pumpkin may be radioactive. All other plants in vicinity are dead.
- Our sofa seats the whole mob, and it's made of 100 percent Italian leather.
- Joining nudist colony, must sell washer & dryer -- $300.
- Alzheimer's Center prepares for an affair to remember.
- Chicken & dumping dinner to be held Saturday.
- So French, after one cup you'll want to go oui, oui.
- Ground beast: 99 cents lb.
- Gas Cloud Clears Out Taco Bell.
- Open house, Body Shapers Toning Salon. Free coffee & donuts.
- Eye of round roast, $1.99 lb. Bonerless.
I was emailed the above as a link from the original at:
AccountingNet